It always seems to me that hearty laughter is a good way to jog internally without having to go outdoors.  

 

Norman Cousins 

I arrived in my brightest coloured clothes, a smile on my face, raring to go. I was really looking forward to this: a whole weekend of pretending to be a clown, putting on a mask and acting the fool. I should be really good at it. After all, haven’t I been doing that all my life? Wow, I should hit the ground running!

I was wrong on all counts! I wasn’t any good at it, and acting/pretending was not on the agenda for that first day. Instead we were asked to discover our own clown.

In one exercise we were asked to pick out a prop. Mine was a large wooden nut cracker. Then we had to come on in front of the others, with the prop, and just see what happened. I acted the fool, pretending that it was a thumb screw; shook it to see if it rattled, held it to my ear, played it like maracas. But what then? What happens when all the jokes run out and you are still there? What happens then? Knowingly, Jayachitta then asked me to stay with it, show what I was feeling then. I was being asked not to hide behind the prop. She wanted me to communicate what my body was feeling. Really feeling. Mij feeling.

Aware. Not Coco the Clown.

During meditation classes, I had always found getting in touch with my body difficult. Now here I was doing it again, only from a very different approach. Standing there, unmasked, aware. It was clear. I was Scared, Embarrassed, Angry, Frustrated.

Jayachitta was removing the mask before she would hand me the red nose.

The second day was for ‘Becoming’. Costumes helped, and an awareness of how our bodies moved. Gary, who was more familiar with this work, was wonderful: a big cuddly hunk of a guy. He confidently dressed up in a yellow chiffon skirt and a top three sizes too small. He only had to stand there looking straight at us, his mouth moving from a pout to a Gromitt grin; that was all it took. He became a wonderfully vulnerable loveable clown.

I have a lot to learn about Awareness and Becoming. Clowning is a lovely way to learn.

 

LAST NIGHT AS I WAS SLEEPING

by Antonio Machado (transl. Robert Bly)

Last night as I was sleeping,

I dreamt – marvellous error! –

that a spring was breaking

out in my heart.

I said: Along which secret aqueduct,

Oh water, are you coming to me,

water of a new life

that I have never drunk?

Last night as I was sleeping,

I dreamt – marvellous error! –

that I had a beehive

here inside my heart.

And the golden bees

were making white combs

and sweet honey

from my old failures.

Last night as I was sleeping,

I dreamt – marvellous error! –

that a fiery sun was giving

light inside my heart.

It was fiery because I felt

warmth as from a hearth,

and sun because it gave light

and brought tears to my eyes.

Last night as I was sleeping,

I dreamt – marvellous error! –

that it was God I had

here inside my heart.

“… He could have followed a more familiar line, that your failures can strengthen you, help forge your character, test your mettle, as fire does steel. But he speaks here of sweetness and honey; perhaps he is looking the other way, in the direction of the heart itself. He is saying that your failures can soften you, render you more permeable to worlds you may never have countenanced if you had always met with success in the world of action. The heart, like a grape, is prone to delivering its harvest in the same moment that it appears to be crushed. The beehive in your heart is humming precisely because of those failures. …”

poem and comments taken from a book by Roger Housden called ‘ten poems to change your life’

 

The Spirit of the Valley
An excerpt from
Taitetsu Unno’s
River of Fire, River of Water
Chapter 3, p. 10-13

The ideal of monastic Buddhism is transcendence of mundane existence, as if one were ascending to the mountaintop. In contrast, the praxis of Pure Land Buddhism takes place by descending into the valley, the shadow of the mountains. We find a similar contrast in Chinese civilization. Like monastic Buddhism, the Confucian ideal may be symbolized by the soaring mountain peaks, manifesting the highest achievements of the literati. And like the Pure Land, Taoism is found in the valley and lowlands, a haven for those who do not fit into conventional society for whatever reason, but it is in this valley that life and creativity flourish. In the words of Tao-te-ching:

   
   
   
   
   

The Valley Spirit never dies.
It is named the Mysterious Female.
And the Doorway of the mysterious Female
Is the base from which Heaven and Earth sprang.
It is there within us all the while;
Draw upon it as you will, it never runs dry.

In the valley fecundity is nourished and dynamic creativity is born. From its depth comes the life force that creates Heaven and Earth. Immortalized as the Spirit of the Valley and identified with the feminine principle, its procreative vitality is inexhaustible, Hence, the name of this Taoist classic, the Way (tao) and its Power (te). The valley ultimately is the resting place for everything that is washed down from the mountaintop, collecting all kinds of refuse and garbage of society and welcoming the unwanted, the disappointed, and the broken.

In Japan, traditional Buddhist monasticism-whether Tendai, Shingon, or Zen-aims at the transcendence of earthly passions. Its basic precepts consist of renouncing all family ties, maintaining celibacy, mastering rigorous disciplines, avoiding contact with the opposite sex, and engaging in elaborate rituals. In contrast, Pure Land is the trans-descendence into the opposite world, the self-awakening to the immersion in the swamp of anger, jealousy, insecurity, fear, addiction, arrogance, hypocrisy. It was only natural that Pure Land teaching was originally welcomed especially by those of the lower classes, seen as unredeemable in the eyes of the privileged. But among this worthless debris and discarded refuse, a rich spirituality is cultivated, endowing a person with endless energy and boundless vitality.

Shin Buddhism comes alive for those who live in the valley and in the shadows. It challenges people to discover the ultimate meaning of life in the abyss of the darkness of ignorance. As we respond fully to the challenge, the Shin teaching helps us to negotiate our way through the labyrinth of samsaric life. The wonder of this teaching is that liberation is made available to us not because we are wise but because we are ignorant, limited, imperfect, and finite. In the language of Pure Land Buddhism, we who are foolish beings (bonbu) are transformed into the very opposite by the power of great compassion.

Honen summed up the varied paths of Buddhism in his pronouncement: “In the Path of Sages one perfects wisdom and achieves enlightenment: in the Path of Pure Land one returns to the foolish self to be saved by Amida,” Religious awakening does not depend initially on who we are or what we do; rather, it is becoming attuned to the working of great compassion at the heart of existence, This attunement is realized through deep hearing (monpo) of the call from the depth. Nothing is required of us, other than the engagement with deep hearing. Since this is the only requirement-no precepts, no meditative practices, no doctrinal know1edge, it is known as the “easy path.”

Easy path, however, only describes the simplicity of the path, not its level of difficulty to realize, for the easy path is by no means easy. Deep hearing is a real challenge and can be a hard struggle, especially for the arrogant, because the call must become embodied in a person. Embodying means living the nembutsu from which flows the spontaneous saying of namu-amida-butsu. The actual process thus may not be so simple, as we are reminded in the Pure Land saying: “Although the path is easy, few are there to take it.” The obstacles encountered are different from those pursuing monastic disciplines on the Path of Sages because one must struggle with oneself in the midst of all kinds of entanglements in society. As James Hillman points out, “The way through the world is more difficult to find than the way beyond it.”

Pure Land Buddhism might suggest an otherworldly orientation, but its primary focus is on the here and now. Not the here and now grasped by the controlling ego-self, but the here and now cherished as a gift of life itself to be lived creatively and gratefully, granted us by boundless compassion. The bountifulness of great compassion makes possible our liberation from the iron cage of our own making.

Dear all honourable Clowns and Friends, I have decided to start the CSS, the Clown Support Service also known as the KUTRN (Keep Up That Red Nose!) and the CYFS (‘Celebrate Your Failure’ Service). I am sure you have all been waiting for this! So I will send out the occasional texts that inspire me, of which there are quite a few! I have found wonderful links with Pure Land Buddhism, as well as some CTC (Cherish the Clown) poems – of which I present to you the first one! I have highlighted what I think is the best part, and copied the commentary from the book I took it from.

If the connection is totally obscure to you just think of all the obscure things we all did on stage with rubber gloves, toilet brushes and the like … and that will make you smile! You might understand the WHY one day!

 If any of you find literature that inspires you to more silliness, joy and especially that wonderful spirit of naivety, fragility and ingenuity (dict: frank, honourable and free from deceit) that is the basis of the clown, do contribute them.

All the best to you … and if you want to let others know about clowning, there will be a weekend 6/7th March in Edinburgh which still has some spaces – please pass on my e-mail to your friends and those who you might think could benefit from a red nose – which could well be your enemies too!

Jayachitta

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